“French Fry”

French Fry!
It’s the shock in the box cause we rock y’all
It’s the shock in the box, french fry!
It’s the shock in the box cause we rock y’all
It’s the shock in the box, french fry!
French Fry!

“Oblivious”

I am oblivious! I am oblivious to the world!

I walk down the street with my face one
I walk down the street with my shiny black shoes
Well polished they are cause I keep them clean
Well polished they are like I live my life
Well polished demeanor, that’s me
I got a lifetime of advice, so I will never need yours

I am oblivious! I am oblivious to the world!

I tell you everything you know
Then I will tell you once again
Talk to you, yeah I talk to you
Talk to you, yeah I talk to you
Talk to you, yeah I talk to you
But I never talk with you

I am oblivious! I am oblivious to the world!

I have six phD’s, but I can’t tie my own shows
I put on a front, this is my flow
Tell the kids what I think they should know
One-track-Fred, that’s what I said
Statistical info in my head
The bombs will fly
The kids will die
And my open mind will stay zip-locked closed

I am oblivious! I am oblivious to the world!

“Me So Mad”

You got me so mad
I smashed my cell phone over my head!

Truth is I got upset with my girl
It started one day I got upset with my girl
She said something that got me upset
Grabbed the phone and now I regret
I took that thing and I bashed it off my head
I said I took that thing and I rammed it off my skull
My cranium-yum, yo, yo

You got me so mad
I smashed my cell phone over my head!

Now I love you, and I need you, and I want you
But I get upset some times and I get a little mad
I get upset some times and I get a little angry at you
But I would never raise my hand to your beau-ti-ful face
And I would never even think of doing you harm
But when were miles away and I’m all alone
Talking to you on the telephone
Long distance year number five
Long distance plan 8-7-4-5
When you want to get that stress off of your chest
You always know the right buttons to press
Right here, then there, right here, then there
You push, I push, you push, and push
And then my cell phone goes like this
Bam! Pow! Bam-bam! Pow-pow!

You got me so mad, I smashed my cell phone over my head!

Baby girl I love you, I love you true
I just want to be with you

“Tonite Unite”

Tonite’s the nite that we get our shit straight
Tonite’s the nite we put our differences to rest
All the hatred, bigotry, misogyny, discrimination
Quit asking, what about me? What about me?
What about me? What about me?

Tonite unite!

One more, song for the people that just won’t take it
One more, song for, fists up, we’re gonna break it
Our rally cry that we will sing forever
If we don’t stand up, then we can’t stand together

Tonite unite!

We will, we will see
We will see that justice is done

Tonite unite!
Unite!

“Bring The Hip-Hop Back”

Check it out, cold kickin’ it raw
Overthrowin’ rap with a coup de tat
When I rhyme on the mic, I flow so nice
Got more flavor than Italian Ice
Bring hip-hop back—back to its roots
All the studio gangstas stealin’ all the loot
Rock, rock the bells, hip-hop disabled
Put the DJ back behind the turntable
Sample, scratch, spin the the wax
Let’s drop an ax on all the studio acts
Bring it back to the party on the block
Kool Herc, Grandmaster got the needled cocked
Not the nine, not the glock, not the AK-47
Not the pushers on the streets dealing to the age of 7
Kids should be dancing going crazy insane
Not smoking crack pipe, not snortin’ cocaine

Bring the hip-hop back
It’s all gone
Bring the hip-hop back
That’s the name of this song

Industry weighed down take a pause and panic
Hip-hop sinking fast like the mighty Titanic
Pray to you savior, pray to your lord
Grab a life-saver and step aboard
To the old-school sound, droppin’ names is a game
B. Lums is my DJ’s name
Why hip-hop sucked in 1996
‘0-4 no different, lost in the mix

Bring the hip-hop back
It’s all gone
Bring the hip-hop back
That’s the name of this song

Barbie and Ken
Corn on the cob
Krusty the Clown
Sideshow Bob

Batman & Robin
Captain Hook, Peter Pan
(Say) Lois Lane
(Say) Superman

Bread and butter
Jimmies and sprinkles
Rocky the Squirrel
The Moose Bullwinkle

Deck of Jack
Bonnie & Clyde
Grandmaster Flash
Furious Five

Bring the hip-hop back
It’s all gone
Bring the hip-hop back
That’s the name of this song

I rock a freestyle from here to Savannah
I got more juice than Tropicana
I’m like Ocean Spray, I’m like Minute Maid
I’m like Sunny D, I’m like Gatorade
Honest and truthful when you think it means nothing
I’m a super bon-bon when my soul is coughing
So what’s up with that? Bring the hip-hop back
It’s something we do as a matter of fact
Electronic, it’s garage, and don’t try to stop
Juiceman always hits you with his power-pop
Rick Dees stop your game, I slam a domino down
It’s Deck of Jack Worldwide Top-40 Countdown
B. Lums on the mic and I’m holding three aces
You’re Marvin Gardens (yo), I’m Park Places
A New York native, a hometown favorite
If it’s pork or chicken (yo), I ain’t ate it
But I’ll make you so happy that you’ll be all misty
My mother’s father, he only called me Kristy

“Just to Prove a Point”

Now Run DMC back in the day, who was their DJ?
It was Jam Master Jay
And before hip-hop was about the cash
The Furious Five had Grandmaster Flash
Okay, guess who’s next?
Public Enemy had Terminator X
And the Beastie Boys maintained their reign
What was their DJ’s name? DJ Hurricane
Boogie Down Productions, you know who?
Scott LaRock on the 1’s and 2’s
Eric B and Rakim, Eric B came first
Jazzy Jeff Fresh Prince, Jazzy Jeff came first
Salt N’ Peppa, Spinderella
A DJ don’t need to be no fella
When old-school rappers rocked the microphone
Old-school rappers’ DJs were known
Cuttin’ and scratchin’ up the whole joint
And this is just to prove a point

This is just to prove a point
This is just to prove a point
This is just to prove a point

Who is Eminem’s DJ? I don’t know?
Who is Jay Z’s DJ? I don’t know?
Who is Nelly’s DJ? I don’t know?
Who is Lil’ John’s DJ? I don’t know?

“Fake People”

We used to chill every single day
We were homies, man that was okay
You used to talk about how we’d never ever change
The way you’re acting now, you’re acting kind of strange

I can’t stand!
I can’t stand!
I can’t stand!
I hate fake people!
Fake people!

You act like them and you won’t talk to me
Afraid of what they’ll think, afraid of what they’ll see
Wear your jacket follow your clique
Your fake little attitude is getting me sick

I can’t stand!
I can’t stand!
I can’t stand!
I hate fake people!
Fake people!

You think you’re so cool, you think you’re all that
With your platinum chains and your Yankees cap
Think you get all the girls, man you smell like sex
You don’t give a little so you get no respect
An original though is what you lack
You’re nothing but a fake come and stab me in the back

I can’t stand!
I can’t stand!
I can’t stand!
I hate fake people!
Fake people!

“Turtle Wax”

Turtle wax
Turtle wax
Comb it, nice and shiny
Dome it, nice and hard
Own it, it’s the style

Comb it, nice and shiny
Dome it, nice and hard
Own it, it’s the style

Turtle wax y’all, turtle wax
Turtle wax y’all, turtle WHAT?
Turtle wax y’all, turtle wax
Turtle wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy
Wiggy-wiggy WAX!

“Fast Food Life”

It all started out one day
Asked my sis to get me a job
She went and got applications
Got one for McDonald’s
Within two days they called me up
Gave me an ugly pink uniform
Little did I know that day
That Ronald and Grimace stole my soul

I hate my job
I hate my life
I hate my boss
Minimum wage fast food life

Made me flip burgers
And rack French Fries
And zits broke out all over my face
Little kids cry and old men whine
Complaining about their senior coffee
My co-workers pack heat
And they sell crack-cocaine
My manager rips into me
Cause I wanna leave my shift on time

I hate my job
I hate my life
I hate my boss
Minimum wage fast food life
Hate working at the local Mickey D’s
Making Big Macs and Quarter Pounders with cheese
Don’t get a raise, cause I don’t use trays
Use the Q’in oven with the ultraviolet rays
One day I’ll get a real job, one day I will end this strife
One day I will have my way, one day I will get a life

I hate my job
I hate my life
I hate my boss
Minimum wage fast food life

“Crazy Dangerous”

I take this mic, grip it in my hand
Rip it with the rest of my band
I tick, and I shock
And I “Rockit” like Herbie Hancock
Now please, let me begin
Don’t check the ID’s, just let the kids in
Open your ears, digest the sound
Are you up for getting down?
To this old school flavor, take what I gave ya
Up all night like a trendy raver
I don’t use “e,” that’s not me
God gave me the ability
To rock a crowd with Fuzz and Lums
Dumb-ditty-dumb-ditty-ditty-dumb-dumb
Run DMC meant a lot to me
I went to Syracuse University
Since Raising Hell I acquired the knowledge
And after Down With the King I went straight to college
Yes—I’m danger on the mic
Turn up the volume and I get psyched
And I got the stroke like Larry Bird
Party people have you heard

It’s crazy!
It’s dangerous!
It’s danger-danger-dangerous!

Verse number two, you wanna see?
I’m Bruce Lee and Muhammad Ali
So yo check it out, it’s not like I’m braggin’
But I float like a butterfly and sting like a dragon
Yes, I’m up in this place
With a mic full of rhymes and a fistful of bass
I take it to the top and you can’t stop me
Your game is getting sloppy
Don’t take this as a dig
But your throwback jersey’s three sizes too big
Nolan Ryan Mitchell & Ness
That don’t mean that you rhyme the best
Get up on the stage and show me what you got
I smoke crowds, I don’t smoke pot
Deck of Jack, we spit fire
Got the big beat just like Billy Squire
All night long, the juice goes through the speakers
It goes out from the speakers, through the kids down to their sneakers

It’s crazy!
It’s dangerous!
It’s danger-danger-dangerous!

Every time we take the stage
We re-invent the latest craze
This is a hip-hop barrage
It’s how we do in our garage
The beat it has ta
B. Lums cut faster…

It’s crazy!
It’s dangerous!
It’s danger-danger-dangerous!

“Bonus Squier”

I pap like a ‘razzi, shake you like Yahtzee
Eat a lot of watermelon like Liberace
I’m not Kid Rock, I’m not Puff Daddy
Don’t play golf so I don’t need a caddy
Like cream cheese icing with chocolate fudge cake
I like my wieners with beans that are baked
Freestyle rhymes in the mic through the speakers
Nylon Nike cortez sneakers
On my feet they make me bounce
On the mic I will pronounce
Billy Joel didn’t start the fire, and
I bet he couldn’t stop Mr. Billy Squier
Billy Squier, you should admire
Billy Squier will take you higher
Billy Squier, call him sire
Billy Squier should un-retire

“Middle Finger”

Stick it up in the air!
Put up your middle finger!

Middle finger to the new school rappers
Degrading women cause they think that they have to
On your videos it’s lies I see
Beware of the wolf disguised as an MC

Middle finger to the deadbeat fathers
You leave your son, you leave your daughter
Your wife is a single mom and that’s really sad
Cause you’re not a real man and you’re not a real dad

Middle finger to anyone who sells drugs
You take the kids and you turn ‘em into thugs
You get ‘em hooked and they just can’t win
Now we got teenage kids hooked on heroin

Middle finger to corrupt world leaders
Violence is real, war is not theater
Now here is something that I always found wack
Would a world leader go to war if he had to strap a gun on his back?

Middle finger to the terrorist nations
Suicide assignations
It’s not worth my time to be talking or debating
You’re not on a mission from Allah, you’re on a mission from Satan

Middle finger to the racist pricks
Middle finger to the homophobics
Middle to society’s sin
Girls become anorexic so that they can die thin

“Skeeze”

I don’t know what to do
I replay it over with myself
I wanna be myself
Myself, myself ain’t good enough for you
Maybe it is? I wouldn’t know?
My head’s too busy smacking clouds
I want to get down to be me
I gotta get me, be me, please me, skeeze me

You don’t know what I’m about
You want to be my buddy bud
You don’t know what I’m about
What you don’t know could hurt you!

Years and years I said I wouldn’t
Skeeze on another guy’s girl
I just lay back, cool back, sit back
Max and relax while you think you’re all that
Try to be a cool guy and I know you’re not
Try to play it off like I’m the B-A-D G-U-Y

You don’t know what I’m about
You want to be my buddy bud
You don’t know what I’m about
What you don’t know could hurt you!

So I skeezed on a Wednesday
So I skeezed on a Wednesday
So? So! So? So!
She was my dream woman first!
She was my dream woman first!
She was my dream woman first!
She was my dream woman!

“Everything Would Be Okay”

Being the loser that I am, I’ll never get a girl like you
And you can ask a million wise men and you know they’ll say it’s true
You’re always on my mind cause you’re a super fly thing
I think you look just like an angel in your Silver Tab jeans
I saw you when it’s sunny, then I saw you when it snowed
I saw you in your car when you passed me on the road
You are the girl of my dreams, but that’s all you’ll ever be
Cause the only time you’re with me is when you’re with me in a dream

I want to be with you everyday, if I could only have my way
Then I’d see you smile everyday, and everything would be okay
I saw you at the park, then I saw you at the show
You pumped your fist in the air, and you made the crowd say, “Ho!”
You got a million talents and I love everyone,
Like when you grit your teeth like this and then you get the job done
I like the way you dance, I love the way you dress
You’re not like any other girl that’s why I like you the best
I want to be with you can’t you see, why can’t you want to be with me?
Yes it’s true, I think I know, I’m really not no Romeo

I want to be with you everyday, if I could only have my way
Then I’d see you smile everyday, and everything would be okay

The moral of this story is that I never have my way
But if I had my way, just one day, then everything would be okay
I’ve got one wish, but I can’t tell you
Cause if I told you my wish, then my wish would not come true
It involves a special someone and a real cool man, and
This real cool man wins the maiden’s hand, and
Then they ride off in the sunset with the sweet sound of laughter
Everyone in this story lives happily ever after
If this wish could just come true, then and only then
I’d have the girl of my dreams and I’d never be sad again
Girl of my dreams, that’s all you’ll ever be
Cause the only time you’re with me, is when you’re with me in a dream

I want to be with you everyday, if I could only have my way
Then I’d see you smile everyday, and everything would be okay

Everything would be okay, everything would be okay
Everything would be okay

“No Swish”

I moved to New York
I play basketball
Every swish is an airball
Every airball is an airball
Where have all the nets gone?
Where have all the nets gone?
No nets! No swish!

I wanna shoot on a hoop that has a net
I wanna shoot on a hoop that makes some sound

No nets! No swish!

“Blowout the Bin”

The manager’s gone—blowout the bin!
The manager’s gone—blowout the bin!
The manager’s gone—blowout the bin!
Blowout the bin—blowout the bin—blowout the bin!

Cheese on 72?! Blowout the bin!
Six set of Macs! Blowout the bin!
Twenty 20-pieces! Blowout the bin!
We gonna get in trouble for this.

Blowout the bin!

“Pizza on the Floor”

Pizza on the floor and I dropped one more
Pizza on the floor and I dropped two more
Pizza on the floor and I dropped three more
Pizza on the floor I dropped four
One, two, three four

Pizza on the floor, it’s not for the picky
Mozzarella, it’s getting’ sticky
Mike checks his watch it’s 12:05
He better go now and deliver that pie
Picks up the pizza off of the floor
Walks himself out through the back door
Gets to his car, chicky-check-check
The 3-second rule is in effect

Pizza on the floor
Pizza on the floor

“A Nimble Adage”

One, two, let me introduce
My name is Juice
And on the microphone I do not play
I will rock this mic until my hair turns gray
I’m razor sharp like a Gilette Sensor
I’ll flip your lid like a Pez dispenser
My boom-box breaks down walls
18 batteries, three feet tall
I go ss-ss-ss with my spray paint can
I got arrested for writing Juiceman
So I step aside and I’m not even lying
His nickname is Fuzz, but his real name is Brian
Ah yeah, the F-U double Z
Will leave you standing, always seeing double dizzalee
I’m velvet smooth, cashmere you feel
Never warn out cause I’m made of steel
Got the old-school hip-hop niche
Mix Master Mike could spin a Primanti Bros. sandwich
For the distance in it for the long run
Deck of Jack’s here—here till it’s all done

Deck of Jack be nimble
Deck of Jack be quick
Deck of Jack jump over the candlestick
Deck of Jack be nimble
Deck of Jack be sick
Deck of Jack jump over the candlestick

Beatrix Kiddo with the Honzo sword
Kurt Cobain with the power chord
Optimus Prime leading the attack
I am Jack Lambert with the quarterback sack
And if any of you had any doubt
I’m like Jimmy Chitwood from 20 feet out
Swish—ooh my my
South Bend Central say goodbye
B. Lums, get your finger off the fader
Pick up the mic and swing your light saber
It’s the one to the two to the three to the four
Cause I’m out of the booth and I’m on the floor
And they gave me a mic and I got the rhyme
If you’ve got the beat then I’ve got the time
It’s like a force in motion meets audio distortion
Just close your mouth, we’ll feed you your portion
Get this going like you never felt
Juiceman and Fuzz, the hand’s been dealt
It’s like a force in motion meets audio distortion
Open your mouth, we’ll feed you your portionDeck of Jack be nimble

Deck of Jack be quick
Deck of Jack jump over the candlestick
Deck of Jack be nimble
Deck of Jack be sick
Deck of Jack jump over the candlestick

“Unbreakable”

We’re unbreakable! Are you kidding me?
We’re unbreakable! Cause we’re made of steel!
We’re unbreakable! Are you kidding me?
We’re unbreakable! Cause that’s what we be!

We’re unbreakable like David Dunn
Steel gerter like 15 ton
We’re like 2 Liberty Bells when you ring ‘em
We jump hurdles like Roger Kingdom
We’re like Mr. T in Rocky III
Clubber Lang? Fuzz that dude was mean
Yeah, and unrestrained
Predictions for the fight? PAIN!!

We’re unbreakable! Are you kidding me?
We’re unbreakable! Cause we’re made of steel!
We’re unbreakable! Are you kidding me?
We’re unbreakable! Cause that’s what we be!

Unbreakable, unfakeable, Unshakeable
I’m a married man so now I’m untakeable
Oh my goodness for heaven’s sakes!
The cradle won’t fall cause our bow won’t break
Unbreakable, it’s kind of unmistakable
Full of flavor that’s simply insatiable
We’re tough, tough actin’ Tinactin!
We lower the boom, take that John Madden!

We’re unbreakable! Are you kidding me?
We’re unbreakable! Cause we’re made of steel!
We’re unbreakable! Are you kidding me?
We’re unbreakable! Cause that’s what we be!

“Why Did Mike?”

It was the first summer of the century
I had an internship in NYC
The internship ended in June
Following that I would be home soon
So I checked my e-mail on a hot summer day
My boy Troy Mouer had something to say
In Pittsburgh while watching TV
Found some news that interested me
On August 7th a concert date
Beasties and Rage live at Starlake
Rhyme and Reason, reason and rhymin’
MCA, Adrock, and Michael Diamond
I couldn’t believe it, rubbed my eyes
My stomach filled with butterflies
What a freakin’ tour, couldn’t freakin’ wait
To buy my seats and dash for the gate

Why? Why did Mike?

I got back home in the beginning of July
Couldn’t find a job threw my arms to the sky
So I worked with my brothers at the Beth-Shalom
Choppin’ down bushes, and mowin’ down lawn
Getting’ beat down by the summer sun
My summer was hot and my summer was long
The only thing that kept me breathin’
Was the 2000 Tour of Rhyme and Reason
Tickets went on sale, I bought ‘em online
Row number 4, section 9
Through Ticketmaster I bought three
One-me, Torey-two, three-Prof D
We were gonna hear “Alive” and “So What’cha Want?”
“Root Down,” “Sure Shot,” and “Shake Your Rump”
“Gratitude,” “Flute Loop,” “Slow and Low”
“Time To Get Ill,” and “Egg Raid on Mojo”

Why? Why did Mike?

Then it happened so fast in the blink of an eye
When I heard all about it, I just wanted to cry
On my Walkman listened to the bad news
Michael Diamond went for a cruise
Ridin’ around town on his low-rider bike
Hit a pot-hole, and then oh shit, yikes
Missed getting hit by a couple of cars
Did a summersault over his handle-bars
Mike was injured, tour was down
No more concert, no more fun
A tear of sadness swept the nation
Acromioclavicular joint dislocation
Mike was forbidden to do the rump shaker
Rage broke up three months later
Tickets refunded, tour is over
Mike in the hospital with a bum shoulder

Why? Why did Mike?

Why did Mike have to ride that bike?
Why did Mike have to ride that bike?
Why did Mike have to ride that bike?
Why did Mike have to ride that bike?